Smashed Screens, Children’s Puzzles and Alan Turing

The Imitation Game.

What a game it is. Or was. Perhaps still going on… Who truly knows..?

I write to you today from a new screen. My phone had an altercation with the kitchen floor and decidedly came off worse. So here we are, new screen to ensure my continued connection to the digital world to which we are all enslaved in some way… For me, the screen helps me make some extra pennies; not a lot granted, but enough to help make ends meet at the end of the month…

How do your screens enslave you? What barrel have they got you over..?

I haven’t mentioned my screen job much before this as it’s my down time as well as an earner. I’m basically an up-cycler, or re-purposer of 2nd hand goods. We throw away too much. Too much time, money, resources and energy is sent to landfill needlessly. I’m doing a very small part to help stop that. I don’t know about you, but up until recently I wasn’t a great fan of buying 2nd hand from Charity Shops or Boot Sales… Dirt, Germs, not clean… Words I told myself were reason enough to always buy new. Reasons not to rummage through a box of hidden treasure… I am truly pleased my mind set has changed on that.

For example; If I can buy a teddy bear, an unloved Bear in need of a new home, why on Earth would I not take him home, give him a trip through the washer, then find him a home with a child who needs a friend?! Not all parents can afford new things these days, so giving people the opportunity to have nice things, like a brand new looking teddy bear, for a fraction of the price AND to keep it out of landfill, surely that’s got to be worth doing, right?

Alan Turing… What a man. One of my favourite go to films is the Imitation Game. Last night (when this post began) I needed something to listen to and engage my brain, so hearing about the work of Alan Turing and his marvellous machines, commonly known as Computers today! If you haven’t watched it, PLEASE do. World War 2; Bletchley Park; Enigma; Code-Breaking!! SO MANY IMPORTANT THINGS.

Enigma, the biggest puzzle of our lifetime. 159,000,000,000,000,000,000 (159 Million, million, million) possible settings to check every day… He cracked it. Technology vs. Technology. What a mind it must have taken to fathom such a large system AND make it work in practice?!?

I think I’ll just stick to my jigsaws and Suduko puzzles πŸ˜‚

Have a great weekend everyone, much love (especially to all you “odd ducks” out there)

Luna xXxXx

Altered Perspective

Look at this. Just take a few moments out of your life to truly SEE what this picture shows us about the shiny, polished and idealised social media-run World we live in.

We envy the lives of others we see online. We wish away our own lives wanting to live like that person we follow on Instagram… Lies. Altered perspective.

Do you alter the perspective of your life for the benefit of social media? I’m pretty sure we all have at some point… Sadly.

My life isn’t glamorous. Not by a long shot. My life is entirely sufficient for my needs, I have a home of my own, a roof over my head and sufficient money to maintain it. That’s a very lucky thing. My mental health isn’t great but I am learning to manage it better. I have a wonderful family and support network of close friends. I hope the life that people see of me online doesn’t cause jealously or envy… My heart wants to leave this world leaving it better than I joined it, helping wildlife and conservation of our planet… Living a sustainable life and helping others to do the same.

If there is someone who’s life you desire. Take a step back, look at the bigger picture and you may well realise your life is by far superior. You have things others desire. Live YOUR life. Make the best decisions you can, be kind and help others if your situation permits it.

Love to all, be your best you. Luna Xx

Give Boosters like Smiles

I found this on my Facebook feed earlier this week but it related as someone at work had asked me something to this effect a few weeks ago after having heard me compliment a customer on their Doc Marten Boots. I am a huge fan of them so of course I was going to give a fellow wearer a compliment on their awesome choice!

This co-worker simply couldn’t understand why I’d done it, just repeating “but you wouldn’t expect someone to say that to you in the street…” I tried to explain that it’s that exact way of thinking that causes so many social issues and anxieties these days. We see so many people being criticised for fashion choices, life choices etc etc!

Why can’t we just give each other a bloody break?!?!?!

I will keep complimenting people where I see awesome things to comment on; a Bus Driver’s awesome painted finger nails; a girl’s rainbow perm hairstyle in the street… Give it a go everyone, a stranger’s smile is so heartwarming! Build someone up today, you never know how much someone may need/appreciate it.

Love a little more, fight against hatred/injustice wherever you see it. Be awesome human beings!

All my love friends, you’re awesome!

Luna Xx

Visions of Disaster

Help. Can’t stop. Everything is collapsing, falling around my head in a tidal wave of noise and motion I have no control over…

I missed a dose of my anxiety medication earlier this week (due to a fault on behalf on my pharmacy) and I have been a mess ever since. My head feels like it’s going 10’000 miles an hour and everything is crumbling around me as I’m running to keep up with everyone else enjoying their normal-speed existence! My eyes are jumping from thing to thing, my hands are shaking and twitchy. I have no control over the speed of my thoughts or my breathing or anything going on around me.

In my head I’ve had at least five accidents already today whilst sat safely at my desk, being in a bottle aisle of a shop and knocking a shelving unit over. Covered in broken glass, blood and shame for being so clumsy… Running away to hide my embarrassment and lick my wounds in private. Seeing images of people having accidents; simple sounds deafening me to the point of having to run out of the room to escape. I can’t stop all this. Please help. I haven’t felt this afraid in my own head for so long, it’s terrifying, everything is crumbing, breaking and nothing I do can fix it.

Anxiety you absolute bitch, why won’t you let me be?! This is not how my World is, I know that, so why am I sitting with a racing heart, sweaty palms and a brain working at lightspeed?! Nothing is true, everything is permitted. A phrase repeating, music jarring, stomach clenching pain.

People look at me and talk about me as if I can’t hear their words, are they talking about me? Am I mishearing? Am I crazy? People tell me it’s not me, but their hatred beats at the inside of my skull like a drum beat. I want to be alone, but want to be comforted. I want the noise to stop but can’t face all my thoughts alone, they will be waiting for the noise to cease to begin shouting untruths at me. Are they untruths? Am I a terrible person, hiding behind noise to stop hearing the voices of truth of my despicable human nature?

Writing in real time is insane, no time to stop, re-read or edit. Whatever comes out of my fingers from my battered brain is here for all to read. I HATE this panic, nothing helps, nothing slows the impending doom I know is lurking somewhere out of sight. I sense its presence, whilst everyone else is oblivious to it. I want to shout out for people to run, to hide, to cherish their children and families before disaster strikes as my heart is telling me it will!

I’m sorry to anyone I have ever wronged, those I have not properly loved in this world, I pray to Odin that I can be forgiven and be received by the Valkyries on and earn my seat in Valhalla.

Help me. I beg of you. My world is falling apart… please. Don’t leave me alone where the darkness dwells…

Sat in a room with yourself…

Ok, it’s something that people say fairly often… But what WOULD you actually say??? Give hints to the future? Give advice as to people/situations to avoid?

Or would you be kinder to yourself? Tell them not to worry? Tell them how amazing they are? Tell them the people that matter will love them regardless of the decisions they make?

We are so hard on ourselves every single day. If we could go back in time to meet our younger selves, what honest and true words could you give yourself..? Not to incite fear, worry or anxiety… But to prepare them for their life adventure ahead! The world is full of WONDER ready to explore and discover…

I’ve been feeling rather philosophical lately, I am debating whether sharing some of my more unorthodox ideas is wise (as they are rather big… In the scheme of world’s, galaxies and universes if such exist) πŸ€”

Have an intergalactic weekend! Luna-land may relocate to a different galaxy for some TLC, RnR and a visit to an alien spa 😍 Bye-sy Bye! Xxx

Stand up Hilarity

Having an evening of stand-up comedy, to improve my recent low mood!

Currently watching Brad Williams “Fun Size” comedy sketch, never heard of him before, OMG I’m dying πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ massive recommendations for this man, literally crying with laughter!

Baby gates, Stickers and Lap Dances. 1 hour of non-stop filth… I FUCKING LOVED IT!

As unlikely as this is, Brad if you ever get to read this, PLEASE do a UK tour, trust me, your comedy is GOLD. (Especially with the working class Northern cities, trust me!)

If you need a little cheering up tonight (trust me, I did a few hours ago!) Give this little man a watch, he’s sure to brighten your mood!

Have a great night everyone! Luna x