Hard-wired on Haywire

I’m stuck in 100MPH messy-mind mode and everything is super sharp and twitchy… My arms and legs feel restless and I’m jumping at small noises. The boss pulling the metal blind cord gently was like nails down a chalk board amplified. To sum up, full on flight mode!

I didn’t sleep well last night, I felt the same before I went to bed last night and couldn’t settle. This morning so far has been anxiety central and I can’t pinpoint the cause. Usually there is a blaringly obvious trigger in my environment but today I can’t find it. I feel like a Deer in a forest in an unknown location; it looks like ordinary, I could be anywhere! Was that a Squirrel in a tree? Or was it a Leopard in a tree stalking me?? Am I being hunted? Am I paranoid? Why do I feel the need to run and keep running?!

My manias are in high demand of me today, I have almost no eyelashes left and several open wounds on my arms/shoulders/neck. I HATE being so out of control! I’m trembling and twitching and there’s a thick layer of fog covering the area of my logical mind. I am present in this body and also looking at it from a corner on the ceiling watching the steam pour out of my joints as I fight to remain at my desk.

What coping methods do you use if you ever feel like this? I could really use some help… I hate asking for it but I can’t keep this up all day! I have tried my stress toys that I keep on my desk and they seem to do little do distract me, or to relax the tension in my arms/hands.

Thank you for taking the time to read this far through this disjointed waffle… any thoughts you may have would be gratefully received.

Yours in fellowship, always. Luna xxx

4 thoughts on “Hard-wired on Haywire

  1. Sorry for your condition. I must say you have a wonderful talent for describing the things you’re feeling. I’d love to share an effective coping mechanism, but empathy is all I can offer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment Denny! I’m trying my best not to let things get to me. But sometimes words is all I have!
      I appreciate your empathy just as much as a coping experience. I hope that by describing how I feel others who may not understand or be able to articulate how they feel can relate in some way. The worst part of having mental health issues is the isolation from others inside your own head.
      Wishing you all the best in whatever you’re doing today! Luna Xxxx

      Like

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